They’ve done it. The GOP has won. There’s no denying it. The GOP currently holds the House, the Senate, the White House, and soon the Supreme Court. In addition to the stolen Supreme Court seat, the GOP has been obstructing federal judicial appointees at a high enough rate that Trump is entering with over 100 judicial vacancies.

It wasn’t because their ideas won in public debate. It wasn’t because of Russian hacking, even though it probably did happen. It wasn’t even because Clinton was a fatally flawed candidate. It was entirely because the GOP took dirty politics to a new low. They gerrymandered districts, stole court seats, bought Supreme Court decisions, disenfranchised voters they didn’t like, and they did it all in plain view. The Democrats are starting out the 2018 midterms behind the eight ball, and in all honesty it is nobody’s fault but their own for not fighting back against this in any meaningful way years ago.

All that being said, it’s time for the GOP to drop the pretenses. They won, so they no longer have to pretend to be things that they are not. Here are a few pretenses that the GOP can just go ahead and throw out the window since they’ve stolen every bit of power they possibly could.

Let’s just be honest, the GOP only cares about deficits when it is a Democrat’s budget.

The Party of Fiscal Responsibility

In modern times, you have to look no further than the budget congress just passed to see how the Republicans really feel about fiscal responsibility. They’ve cleared the way for the debt to skyrocket and plan on running deficits that would make even the worst “tax and spend” liberal blush.

But, this problem isn’t a new face of hypocrisy for the Grand old Party. Nope, they’ve been at this for a long time. Ronald Reagan increased the national debt by 189%. He’s the one who really got the party started with his voodoo, trickle down, welfare queen myth nonsense. It was a mighty fine trick when he fooled the middle class into blaming the poor for the theft perpetrated by the rich.

There’s no need to pretend any longer. You’ve got the power. Just go ahead and say openly that you want more war in the middle east so that private contractors can bilk the taxpayer purse for billions in no-bid contracts. Go ahead and say that you have friends running private prisons, and you’d love to get tough on crime so that they can benefit from what is essentially modern slave labor. Just be honest about it. The only welfare you believe in is corporate welfare.

Just be honest and say that every time you say relief for small businesses you mean tax-free living so that billionaires can try real hard to become trillionaires.


By 2018, expect to arrive at polling stations to pass the test above. Anyone under the top line will be subjected to extreme vetting at the polling stations. Of course, this is if the GOP cuts the crap and says what is on their minds.

The Party that Wants to Secure the Integrity of the Vote

Would the party that wanted to secure the integrity of the vote gerrymander the entire country to the point that they can lose the majority vote for House congressional seats but still maintain a large majority? No, they wouldn’t. So, they should just go ahead and let it all hang out.

You don’t have to go about things like the North Carolina GOP when they crafted their voter id laws and pretended they weren’t racially motivated. They got swatted down by the appeals court, but don’t worry, you’ll own those too soon, and even if a case slips by, SCOTUS will be yours too. Just drop the pretense.

Instead of saying that you think millions of illegals voted in the election, or that thousands of dead people voted, just say the truth. You don’t like the way brown people vote, so you’re going to do your best to make sure they don’t get to vote.

Go on, don’t be shy. Download the picture above this section and use it like you know you want to. Nothing is too egregious now that nobody has any real power to check you.

There’s no Longer a Need to Pretend

There is no longer a need to pretend that you’re deregulating so that small business can survive and thrive. Your coup is complete. All you really have to do now is shove the laws you want through. You can go ahead and say that you’re setting up Wall Street and big business to be able to better extract capital from the populace, that you’re hoping to funnel money from a person to private business from the cradle, through private schools, into debt slavery in college or literal slavery in prison, and on through their lives until they die.

You can go ahead and say that you’re hoping to sell as much of our planet’s future as you can to big oil. Who cares if Florida already sees tidal floods out of nowhere? You have the power to suppress any data coming out of the epa. You have the power to defund any legitimate climate research and spread headlines using weather events to disprove climate theories. Rejoice! You’re free!

There is no longer a need to pretend that you’re anything but what you always have been, the big business party of the established power structure.